Doubt and Trust
by Mikauzoran
Summary: Akako met Saguru's gaze pointedly. "I don't want you to regret anything either." Aoko and Akako are going to confess to Kaito, but can Hakuba find the courage to do the same, or will friendship really be enough? Who will Kaito choose, and will he ever learn to trust anyone enough to let them in?


Mikau: Hello everyone! Thank you for joining me. I feel like it's been so long since I've written anything. I've really been working hard on my original novel lately…and then there's the fact that I've inherited a lot of responsibilities at work with the paralegal above me retiring, so I've been working anywhere from nine to twelve hour days for the past few months. ^.^; But you're here to read, not listen to me. This is for the Poirot Café forum's Secret Santa event. Midnight wanted KID being flirty/annoying with another character and or Aoko/Hakuba deciding what to buy Kaito for Christmas. I kind of went with all of the above with a healthy dose of feels, Akako and Hakuba friendship, and really dorky Hakuba. I hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd do more holiday and season specials. Honestly, I'd probably turn it into a shoujo manga. With BL. ^.^; Oh well.

…

Doubt and Trust

The bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the week at Ekoda High, and the students of Class 3-B shot out of their seats as if they had been stung by fire ants.

Amid the clamor and the frenzy of his classmates (impatient to begin their typical weekend shenanigans), Hakuba Saguru hung back, leisurely packing his bag, secure in the fact that he had two whole hours to get home before the Twilight Zone marathon was set to begin.

"Hey."

Saguru gave a start at the voice coupled with the hand clapping him on the shoulder. He looked to find Kuroba Kaito grinning sheepishly down at him.

When had Kuroba snuck up on him?

"Sorry," the magician chuckled, holding up his hands in a manner that clearly read "I come in peace. No silly string…this time".

"Didn't mean to startle you like that…for once," Kaito added. "You lost in thought about Hobbits and elves and all that nerdy stuff again?"

Saguru was about to laugh, "Wrong fandom" when Kuroba continued, "Or maybe your thoughts were on a certain phantom thief you've been dying to get into a pair of handcuffs for the past year and a half. Hm?" Kaito purred, an impish smirk twisting at the corner of his lips, adding a suggestive overtone to the words.

Hakuba's stomach flipped, and he pointedly avoided Kaito's gaze. He could feel the tips of his ears going red at Kaito's double entendre, and he could only hope the thief in question hadn't noticed, even though Saguru knew that was too much to ask. Kuroba was watching him intently for a reaction, just like always.

"Did you _need_ something, Kuroba?" Saguru managed to pull off a slightly bored inflection.

"Nah. Not really. I'm heading over to Beika to the Professor's house to pick up some things. I was going to ask if you wanted to come with…and then tormenting you came as a bonus," Kaito confessed with a snicker. "Wanna come? You don't have plans, do you?"

Saguru immediately forgot that he had been excited for this Twilight Zone marathon for the past three weeks because Kuroba Kaito was seeking _his_ company of his own accord. Kuroba was trusting Hakuba to come with him to pick up what were most likely KID-related gadgets. What's more, it would be just the two of them all the way to Beika and back. No Aoko-san to distract with infantile bickering and bittersweet, childhood-friend romance. No Akako-san to butt in with overt flirtations and overly-complicated machinations. Kuroba was never "real" around them when they were all together in a group. There always had to be masks in play. Going to Beika, just the two of them, presented all kinds of opportunities.

Saguru was about to respond with practiced nonchalance that he hoped didn't sound as eager as he felt when Koizumi Akako perched herself atop Saguru's desk and gave his answer for him.

"Hakuba-kun has already agreed to go shopping with _us_." Akako simpered, indicating Aoko and Keiko waiting for Akako at the front of the room by the teacher's desk.

"What?" Kaito scoffed, quirking an eyebrow in suspicion at the witch.

"What?" Saguru echoed on his own behalf. "I don't recall—"

"—I asked you last week." Akako feigned indignation. "Don't you remember?"

Saguru was about to inform her that he'd already had plans for that night last week, so there was no way he would have agreed, but that would mean admitting to Kuroba about the Twilight Zone marathon, and Kuroba knew about Saguru's strong feelings for the Twilight Zone. If the magician found out, it would beg the question of why Saguru was so eager to ditch the event just to accompany Kuroba on an errand.

Saguru didn't want to answer that question—to himself or otherwise, and, least of all, to Kuroba.

Luckily, Kaito stepped in with, "Akako, I'm not letting you drag him around so he can carry your bags while you girls shop."

Saguru felt the hairs rise on his arm as Kuroba placed a protective hand on Saguru's shoulder, as if he could fend Koizumi off with the gesture.

Akako placed her hand on top of Kaito's, trapping it on Saguru's shoulder, as she leaned into the magician, probably offering him a lovely view if he chose to peer down. She smiled prettily up at him, tipping her chin at a tempting angle, her lips only a breath away from his.

"Don't be silly, Kaito-kun. We would never do that," she affected astonishment, but it came out more "a la Marilyn Monroe" than convincing.

"Sure you wouldn't." Kaito rolled his eyes, remaining as impervious as Humphrey Bogart to charms that would have any other guy open-mouthed and drooling.

"We're all going to buy Christmas gifts for our crushes, and Hakuba-kun has generously offered to help us pick things out, give us a guy's perspective, you know?" Akako elaborated.

She glanced sideways and smirked a deadly, shark-toothed grin at Hakuba. "And maybe we'll help him pick out something for _his_ crush too."

Saguru hurriedly looked away as his cheeks began to burn like flames surging to life under the influence of gasoline. He considered denying that such a crush existed, but he wasn't certain he could lie convincingly, especially with Kuroba's hand still plastered to his shoulder. Rather than risk being questioned on the matter, Saguru let it alone.

The gods were against Saguru, and Kuroba asked anyway.

"Hakuba has a crush?" he laughed, slipping his hand out from under Akako's. "This is the first I've heard of it."

"I don't expect he'd tell you," Akako sneered, giving Hakuba's shoulder a mocking little squeeze.

"Am I that hard to confide in?" Kuroba wondered aloud as he turned to Saguru, voice full of curiosity. "Who is it?"

Kaito suddenly noted Hakuba's flushed face and general appearance of wanting the earth to split open and swallow him. Rightly identifying it as mortification in the presence of one's crush, Kaito grumbled, "Tell me it's not this witch."

Saguru's vocal chords seized, creating a dying ferret sound.

Kaito gave up on Saguru and turned to Akako. "Since you know so much, tell me this: Is it someone I know?"

"Someone you know very well," Akako practically cackled, letting his witch comment slide.

"…Is it Aoko?" Kuroba ventured.

Saguru was a little taken aback by the lack of feeling in the magician's voice. Its tone was borderline unconcerned, as if Kaito had no personal skin in the game of who had a crush on the girl who was ostensibly his own love interest.

"Must we discuss this _here_?" Saguru managed to squeak, his voice still gone rogue.

Kaito glanced around the quickly emptying classroom and nodded, seemingly acknowledging that he could understand why Hakuba would be a little hesitant to talk about such a personal matter where any one of a number of inveterate gossips could overhear.

Kuroba shrugged, repositioning his backpack on his left shoulder and turning to leave. "Well, good luck with your shopping, I guess. I'll tell the Professor and Ai-chan hi for you, Hakuba?"

Saguru blinked, realizing that his chance to spend uninterrupted, undivided time with Kuroba Kaito had slipped away. "Uh…yes. Please. Please do," he replied lamely, nodding an informal bow as Kuroba started to walk away.

When the magician was out of earshot, Hakuba turned to glare at Akako without meeting her eyes—a move he had long since had the opportunity to perfect—and softly hissed, "Did you have to do that?"

"No," she chuckled, looking far too pleased with herself for Saguru's liking. "I did it because I could. It's more fun that way."

"You're evil," Saguru sighed, standing up to finish packing his things. He towered over her like that, and yet, he still felt so small. "Do you really have to use me for sport like that, Akako-san?"

Akako knit her eyebrows together and pushed her bottom lip out into a pout. "I'm not messing with you _just_ for fun," she snorted.

"Oh? Really?" he hummed indifferently, pulling his English book out from under her with a swift tug that sent her unsteadily tottering to her feet.

"No," Akako insisted, quickly regaining her balance. "I'm not. Now hurry up. The girls are waiting."

Saguru raised an eyebrow at this. "You're really going Christmas shopping and want me to come with you. You weren't just messing up my life on purpose?"

"Not this time." Akako shrugged, straightening her shorter-than-regulation uniform skirt. "I need your help, since I don't think another love slave charm is going to beat out whatever Nakamori-san gets Kaito for Christmas, and you haven't gotten him anything yet yourself, have you?"

Saguru shifted awkwardly. "I wasn't planning on… It's not really typical for guys to get other guys gifts, so…"

Akako rolled her eyes and grabbed Hakuba by the sleeve. "Curse conventions. How are you ever going to get him to notice you otherwise?"

"Why do you care when you want him to notice _you_ yourself?" Saguru wondered a touch bitterly. "Do you take pleasure in my miserably pathetic thrashings about in the throes of unrequited feelings? I can't imagine what other interest you would have in my love life or lack thereof."

Akako gave a snort and pulled him with more strength than she appeared to possess toward the front of the classroom. "Let's just say that sometimes your pitiful situation reminds me of my own, and that irritates me and makes me want to fix things for you. Don't you lowly mortals call that friendship or something like that?"

Saguru reflected for a moment before responding, "…Yes. Something like that."

It wasn't like he knew much about friendship himself, but Akako was trying in her own way, and he appreciated that.

…

Two hours of trekking around the mall and not finding suitable gifts for the girls to give to Kaito later, Saguru was thanking his lucky star that the gods were merciful: Baaya was home to record the Twilight Zone marathon for him, so his night need not be completely ruined.

"Why don't you just get him an Amazon gift card or something?" Keiko sighed as they left the toy store emptyhanded, Aoko unable to find any brainteaser puzzle toys she thought Kaito would like and didn't already own.

"Aoko was considering that, but…it felt a little…" She scrunched her brow. "…impersonal."

"There's nothing romantic about gift cards," Akako snorted in agreement. "Gift cards are what you get someone when you either can't be bothered or don't know them well enough to pick something out yourself."

"Aoko wants this gift to be special," Aoko mumbled, looking down at her feet and letting out a heavy, disconsolate groan.

"Well, what would _you_ suggest, Hakuba-kun?" Keiko huffed at him, clearly frustrated by the entire quest. "What do guys like getting? I mean, you buy a girl flowers or chocolates or jewelry or something, but what do you get for a guy?"

"As a romantic gift?" Saguru stalled for time.

Three pairs of eyes studied him expectantly.

Saguru bit his lip. A romantic gift? First edition Sherlock Holmes came to mind. A hardcover version of The Lord of the Rings: A Reader's Companion. There was also any number of figurines, plushies, and paraphernalia from Doctor Who or Star Trek. He'd be over the moon if a love interest gave him a sonic screwdriver, a dorky red bowtie, or even that adipose strap he'd seen in the gumball machine the other day at the arcade with Kuroba. Anything, really, would be "special" in the way Aoko wanted her gift to be, if someone took the time to really think and consider what Saguru would like. Just the act of someone stopping to mull over what would make Saguru happy was enough.

Not that he could say, "Anything you get him will be special in his eyes". Keiko looked about ready to punch someone out, she was so fed up with their mission. Saguru had to give a substantive answer, and none of the nerdy things on his wish list were going to cut it.

"Well," he replied diplomatically. "Some men like cologne, or there's ties, tie pins, a watch, cufflinks…." He bit his lip and ventured, "Perhaps something professional that he can wear for a future show, or…Kuroba has a massive sweet tooth. Perhaps he'd appreciate if you made him baked goods. Maybe you could include some cookies or something along with your gift to give it more of a personal touch?"

Saguru was relieved when Keiko nodded appreciatively at his suggestions. "That's not half bad, is it, Aoko?"

"A tie and some baked goods," Aoko whispered, considering, nodding to herself as if thinking, "That just might work".

"It's a good thing I brought you along after all," Akako snickered, elbowing him playfully in the ribs.

At least he assumed it was meant to be playful. Akako was a lot stronger than she let on, and her boney elbow kind of hurt.

"Glad to be of assistance," Saguru replied through gritted teeth.

"Well," Akako turned to address Aoko and Keiko. "Now that you have a better idea of where to focus your search, Hakuba-kun and I are going to take off. We've got a few errands to do."

Saguru raised an eyebrow but knew better than to say anything to contradict the witch.

Keiko looked skeptical too, but Aoko accepted Akako's words at face value. She turned to Saguru and took his hands in her own, looking up at him with a much more profound gratitude than Saguru thought that the situation called for.

"Thank you so much for coming with us today, Hakuba-kun." She gave his hands a squeeze, and her eyes sparkled. "You've been such a huge help. Aoko was really getting discouraged for a minute there, but now she thinks she has a better idea of what she needs to do."

"I'm afraid I didn't do much, but it was my pleasure offering what little assistance that I could." Saguru gave her a polite smile, touched by her sincerity and the gleam of innocence in her eyes.

He was about to say more, but at that moment Akako took him by the elbow and pulled him along after her, calling a quick, "See you two later!" back at their companions.

Saguru stumbled along awkwardly after her the first few steps but then clumsily managed to fall in step beside her, her arm still hooked through his in an oddly couple-like manner.

"…So…what errands do you require my presence to complete?" Saguru wondered aloud once they were well out of earshot of Keiko and Aoko.

Akako shot him a sideways look, an imperious smirk tugging at her lips as she snickered, "Do I strictly have to _require_ your presence to wish to spend time with my best friend?"

Three deep trenches carved their way across Saguru's forehead. "Best friend? Is that what we are? Do you even know what that word means?"

Akako shrugged, hugging his arm more tightly to her chest. "I think you have about as much experience as I do when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Do _you_ know what that word means?"

Saguru thought for a moment. "…Vaguely. I see examples of 'best friends' around me, and yet, I do not feel that I truly grasp the concept."

"Well, what I mean is that you're the only other person on the face of this earth that I can stand the company of consistently and sometimes I even want you around," she clarified flippantly, not looking at him.

The corner of his lips tipped up into a pleased grin. "What a coincidence. You're the only other person whom I genuinely like despite all of the glaring character flaws that you only let a select few see…. And you're the only other person to whom I show my own shortcomings."

"The only other person besides Kaito, I think we both mean," Akako hummed thoughtfully.

"Naturally," Saguru confirmed. "I knew what you meant. I generally do…except when you start spewing your magical 'Lucifer said…' nonsense."

She slapped him halfheartedly on the arm. "So it sounds like we're agreed on the definition of a best friend…so you won't mind going lingerie shopping with me."

"E-Excuse me?" Saguru stumbled, nearly tripping and bringing Akako down with him. Luckily, he caught himself, and, after catching back up, he stared at Akako in utter bafflement. "Did you say…?"

"I'm getting Kaito sexy lingerie for Christmas, and you're going to help me pick it out," Akako announced, bringing him to a stop in front of just such a boutique.

The color drained from Saguru's face, and his eyes widened. "Akako-san, I can't go into a women's undergarment store. That would be indecent and wildly inappropriate."

Akako rolled her eyes and tugged him into the store. "Just pretend you're my boyfriend. No one will think twice about you being in here with me, and it's not like you have any ignoble interest in women's underthings anyway, so I fail to see how you going into a lingerie boutique to help me pick out slinky negligee to give to my crush for Christmas could possibly be inappropriate or indecent."

Saguru stared at her blankly. "Do you? Do you really? Did you hear any of the words that just came out of your mouth?"

"Doesn't matter," Akako announced, pulling him over to a monochrome display. "Help me pick."

Saguru sighed, resigning himself to his fate. "I hate that I even have to ask this, but are we picking out women's undergarments for Kuroba to wear himself, or are we picking something he'd like to see _you_ wearing?"

Akako studied Saguru closely for a moment before hesitantly inquiring, "Would you happen to know what kind of lingerie Kaito wears while crossdressing?"

"It depends on what persona he's using at the time, but…" Saguru pursed his lips. "Yes," he amended, not feeling the need to go into particulars. "Yes, I do happen to know what kind of lingerie Kuroba wears while crossdressing."

"Do you know what size he wears?" Akako couldn't help but ask out of a morbid sense of curiosity.

"It depends on how much augmentation is necessary for the disguise, but…you know what? I'm not going into this unless it's absolutely necessary. Is it absolutely necessary?"

Akako bit her lip, holding up a polka dot bra to study. "No, not strictly speaking. The lingerie is for me to wear… _for_ him…. I'm going to confess."

Saguru's mouth dropped open slightly as he studied his friend in shock, trying to determine if she were joking.

She looked up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. "We both are, actually—Nakamori-san and I—at the Christmas party at her house on Christmas Eve. We talked about it, and we decided to lay our cards on the table and let the best woman win. That's part of the reason why I invited you to come shopping with us; I wanted to let you know in case you finally get up the courage to confess yourself."

"We all know he'd never choose me," Saguru snorted, tucking his hands into his pockets. "There would be no point in a confession. It would only ruin the tenuous friendship I've been working so hard to build over the past few months."

Akako nodded, accepting Saguru's decision. "I don't blame you. I know how you feel, but…there's always a chance. Kaito never does what other people expect him to do, so there's a chance he'll…"

"Turn down Aoko-san and pick one of us?" Saguru chuckled softly yet ruefully as he picked up a pair of lacey black panties to examine.

Akako sighed, putting the polka dot bra back. "I know…but I also know that if I don't say anything now while there's still some slim chance he could say yes to me, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I'd rather get it over with and get rejected so I'll know for sure that there was nothing else I could have done. I won't ever have to wonder what could have been if I'd been brave enough to be honest with him."

Saguru looked up at his friend with a warm smile. "I admire you for that, Akako-san, having the guts to fight for something you want while at the same time having the strength to accept the outcome, if things don't turn out well."

Akako shrugged, smiling half-heartedly at his praise. "I've had regrets before, and that's not something I ever want to live with again." She met his gaze pointedly. "I don't want you to regret anything either."

Saguru grimaced. "Akako-san, you'll agree that our situations are a little different. The worst you have to fear is him turning you down and then things being slightly awkward between you for a short while." He took a surreptitious glance around to make sure no one was within earshot before continuing. "For me, that's the best case scenario I can hope for. At worst, he'll be so disgusted that he cuts me off entirely and then tells everyone at school who will then persecute me like a witch—pardon the expression—for the remainder of the year. The press might hear of it from a particularly spiteful classmate hoping to make a little money by selling the story to a gossip rag, and then it will be all in the papers about how the Police Superintendent's son likes other men…and my father will disown me," Saguru concluded in a whisper, his voice cracking slightly.

Hesitantly, Akako reached out and rested her hand on Saguru's forearm. "Your father wouldn't really go so far, would he? I mean, I've seen him before, clapping you on the back before a heist. He loves you. He wouldn't just toss you out."

Saguru bit his lip, trying to reign in his emotions. "My father…he provides for me. He's a man of honor who married my mother when they found out she was with child and now stays married to her, despite their separation and mutual infidelity, for appearances' sake. That is the kind of family that I have, and as soon as I tarnish the Hakuba name…" Saguru sighed wearily. "Let's just put it this way: my father has always had choice words to say about homosexual individuals, and I have no reason to believe I would be spared his bigotry simply because I am his offspring."

"…Okay," Akako finally relented after careful consideration. "I'm really sorry, Hakuba-kun."

Saguru nodded his appreciation and went back to sifting through the bin for something he knew Kuroba would like to see a girl wear.

"…But even if you are right about your dad, Kaito would never react like that. He's not a homophobe. I mean, you've seen KID. He's flirted with you personally enough that you _know_ Kaito would never burn you like that, if you told him the truth."

"But he'd still treat me differently, and things would still be weird between us. I know he would never want me like I want him, so isn't the best thing I can do to keep my mouth shut and stay friends?" Saguru remarked, voice straining with a hint of pleading. "So long as I don't do anything to endanger that bond between us, I have a shot at being close to him—as close as I can ever hope to be, anyway. Why don't we just leave it at that?"

"Because being close to him but not being able to be close to him in the way you want to is going to rip you to pieces," Akako replied, gazing at her friend with eyes overflowing with pity.

"Can we talk about something else?" Saguru requested wearily. "I'd really like to talk about _your_ love life now or, honestly, even women's lingerie, if you'd rather. I'm a little desperate at this point."

"I just think you're making a mistake." Akako shrugged, grabbing a black and red bra to scrutinize. "You should trust Kaito more than that."

"And you should drop the slut act with him," Saguru advised, forcibly changing the subject. "It's not getting you anywhere. He doesn't like it, and, what's worse, he doesn't take you or your feelings seriously because of it," he informed her bluntly. "He thinks you're fooling around, and that's exactly what he's going to think when you give him skimpy lingerie and tell him you like him."

Akako frowned, tossing the bra back into the bin.

Saguru's voice softened. " _You_ are the one who needs to be honest with him, Akako-san. I truly believe he could grow to genuinely like you if you were less fake with him."

With a soft snort, Akako grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the boutique.

He followed along behind her obediently as she power-walked to the food court and, without a word to him, ordered winter vegetable curry and naan at the Indian place. He asked the girl at the register to double the order and took out his wallet to pay for it all.

Akako let him, not even acknowledging his presence as they stood to the side and waited for their number to be called.

Saguru quietly stood by her, letting her have the space to think. He carried their tray over to an empty table on the far side of the food court, over by the ice cream shop, and divvied out the food. Saguru began to eat, letting Akako break the silence in her own time.

It didn't take long. She dipped a piece of the naan in her curry and started talking with her mouth full.

"It's just that I've never done this before!" she lamented, exasperated. "I don't know how to deal with guys like him."

"Guys like him?" Hakuba raised an eyebrow.

"Guys who actually care," she elaborated. "I've had love slaves before, but never a boyfriend with free will. I know nothing about real relationships." She took another bite of curry as her voice rose in pitch. "Heck, I can't even do friendship right. I _know_ I'm screwing up with you, but I have no clue how to fix it."

"You're not that bad," Saguru assured, even though it was a bit of a fib. "It's not like I'm any better."

"Hakuba-kun, I treat you like crap half the time—and that's not even the point." Akako sighed, resting her chin on the table. "The point is that I only know how to overpower and manipulate people. I don't know how to have a normal relationship."

"Tell Kuroba that," Saguru encouraged. "Tell him, and then tell him that you like him and want to try to have a relationship with him anyway, if he'll be patient with your learning curve."

She raised her head to gaze at him, unsure. "Really? I won't just sound stupid?"

Saguru shook his head, giving her a reassuring smile. "If you can be that honest with him, I guarantee that Kuroba will take your confession seriously. If, in the end, he doesn't agree to be your boyfriend, at least you'll be better friends for it."

She nodded, slowly gaining faith in the plan.

"So the only real question that remains is what are you actually going to get Kuroba for Christmas?" Saguru chuckled.

Akako shrugged, grinning. "The same thing I got you." She reached into her bag and pulled out a small omamori charm like one would buy at a temple or shrine, only this one was homemade and in the same brown tweed as his Sherlock Holmes cosplay.

"You didn't." He held in a laugh.

"I did," she affirmed, handing it over. "Unlike the ones you get at shrines, this one will actually do what it advertises. I put a spell on it to keep you safe."

Saguru studied the hand-stitching on the charm and smiled warmly. "You're quite the seamstress. Thank you, Akako-san. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you thinking of me."

She shrugged, playing it off nonchalantly, but she couldn't control the smug grin on her lips. "I actually get a lot of practice sewing voodoo dolls, if you believe it."

Saguru cringed. "I didn't need to know that."

"I don't use them nearly as often as I used to, if that makes you feel any better," she snickered, going back to her curry and naan.

"Unfortunately, no. That does not make me feel even the slightest bit better," Saguru groaned.

"So, did you get me anything?" Akako hummed, giving his calf a pointed tap with her foot.

Saguru rolled his eyes. "Yes, but I don't have it on me. You'll have to wait until the party."

Akako nodded, giving him a skeptical look. "Mmhm. That means you haven't gotten me anything yet."

"I did too," he protested, taking a bite of his own naan.

"I bet you didn't. What is it, then?"

Saguru shook his head and caved. "I went shopping with my cousin Ai last weekend. She's very fashion-conscious, and she helped me pick out a new, brand-name bag for you. You'll get it at the party. Are you happy?"

A serpentine grin of satisfaction slowly spread across Akako's lips, and Hakuba could tell she was holding back her elation. " _Very_ ," she purred, voice soft as silk. "See? I knew we were best friends. You know me so well."

"And you—who care very little for us lowly mortals—care enough about me to make me a magic talisman to keep me safe on my cases," he observed. "Perhaps we are friends after all."

"So what are _you_ getting Kuroba?" Akako somehow found a way to ruin the moment. "I don't have anywhere I need to be, so I can walk around the mall with you again and try to help you pick something out."

Saguru looked down into his bowl and sighed. "I really do appreciate the offer, Akako-san, but I still think it's a little odd for a man to give another man a Christmas present. He won't have anything for me, and it will be awkward."

Akako narrowed her eyes at him.

Saguru avoided her gaze.

"Just tell him that friends give each other gifts back home in England, and you don't expect anything in return from him, but you wanted to commemorate your friendship with a small gift," she huffed, fed up with his excuses. "And then give him a _small_ gift. Nothing super expensive, rich boy."

Saguru smiled sheepishly. "No brand-name purses, then? No Armani suit?"

" _I_ am the only one you're good enough friends with to buy super expensive gifts for," Akako schooled. "Remember that for next Christmas."

"Right." Saguru nodded, getting the feeling that Akako was merely trying to ensure that she got as good of a gift the following year. "Noted."

"So after we eat, we'll walk around some more and see if we can't find something suitable," she strategized. "Did you happen to notice anything when we walked around the first time?"

"Actually," Saguru reluctantly came clean. "I've had something for a while now. For a few months." His ears began to burn. "I picked it up on a whim and then never had the nerve or excuse to give it to him."

"What is it?" She poked in him the shin with her toe.

He shook his head, cheeks beginning to color. "It's stupid. It's just a book I think he'd enjoy. I mean, I like the series, and I think it's his kind of humor, so…"

Akako's eyes widened in surprise. "That actually might be good, Hakuba-kun. It's not too expensive so as to make him feel awkward about not having anything for you, but at the same time, it's still personal, what with you thinking of him and picking it out and everything."

"Maybe I'll just slip it into his desk anonymously at school on Tuesday," Saguru muttered, quickly losing confidence.

"You will not," Akako decreed. "You do that, and I out you to him."

"Then I shan't give it to him at all," Saguru retorted with a snort.

"You _have_ to," Akako sighed dramatically in her frustration. "I'm telling you, your feelings for him are going to eat you alive, if you don't do something about them, get some closure. You may never end up with him how you want, but you have to at least come to some sort of peace with the situation."

"I've come to peace with the fact that I'm going to have an arranged marriage to some heiress or another, preform my husbandly duty when required, and take solace in my work and my eccentric hobbies," Saguru declared matter-of-factly.

"As if the people who care about you would let that happen," Akako scoffed.

Saguru rolled his eyes. "My parents don't—"

"—Good thing I wasn't talking about your parents. Screw your parents. I meant _us_ ," she snapped, stuffing a large bite of eggplant into her mouth. "Kaito and Nakamori-san and Momoi-san and me. The people who actually care about your mental and emotional wellbeing. You deserve more than just your work and your nerdy obsessions. So give Kaito the book, okay? Stop making excuses and just do it."

Saguru stared at her, watching her stuff bite after bite into her mouth in stunned silence for nearly a full minute before he could produce a reply. "Akako—"

"—Shut up," she grumbled. "I'm through having the same argument, so talk about something else, okay? Talk about…Sherlock. About the episode you showed me last week, the one with Irene Adler. I liked her. Tell me about all the ways the episode was the same and different from the original story."

Saguru nodded, struggling to find his voice once more as he not-so-discreetly wiped fledgling tears from his eyes. "Thank you," he finally managed. "You are many times a better friend than you give yourself credit for, Akako-san."

"That's why I get the expensive presents," she mumbled into her naan, hoping the downward tip of her face hid the blush from view. She didn't want him to see how much those words meant to her. She'd been entirely too vulnerable in front of him that day. If she didn't watch out, he'd think she'd gone soft.

…

Christmas Eve was upon them before they knew it, and Saguru found himself at the Nakamoris', helping with setup for the annual party.

Aoko and Kaito were chasing each other about the room like five year-olds, throwing plastic ornaments and strands of garland indiscriminately and oftentimes missing their intended targets. Well, Aoko was missing, at least. Saguru was beginning to think that Kaito was hitting him in the back of the head with ornaments on purpose in an attempt to entice the detective into the madness. It wasn't working, but the magician still had that maniacally gleeful grin on his face, so Saguru assumed that Kuroba was having a good time regardless.

Aoko was genuinely incensed, and so the rest of the gang was making an effort not to draw her ire, quietly going about their tasks of laying out things like snacks and utensils or setting up assorted lights and wreaths and other decorations.

Saguru frowned as Akako hung mistletoe over his head.

His best friend smirked devilishly back at him.

Saguru sidestepped, right into Kaito's path. Saguru took a glancing blow to his left side that sent him spinning and landed him hard on his backside.

It was unclear whether Kuroba got off easier, slamming into a solid wall of detective, but he certainly went down with more grace, tucking into a roll and coming up to sitting.

"Now look what you've done!" Keiko shouted at her two childhood friends as she rushed over to Hakuba's side. "I've had it up to here with your horseplay! You two aren't five anymore!"

Aoko had grace enough to look ashamed and made herself small, slipping into the background as Keiko fussed over Saguru.

Both boys groaned, the air knocked out of them, but Kaito regained his footing first, coming over to offer the detective a hand up with a sincere apology. "You all right? I'm really sorry. I should have been watching where I was going."

"A little bruised, but fine overall, I think." Despite his avowals, Saguru hissed in pain as Kaito pulled him to his feet.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Keiko pursed her lips. "You don't feel like you have a concussion or anything, do you?"

"Thank you for your concern, Keiko-san, but, at worst, it's merely a bruised tailbone. Nothing to fret over," Saguru assured.

"I don't know," Akako hummed mischievously, holding the mistletoe above Saguru's head once more. "I think one of the perpetrators should have to kiss it and make it better."

"Akako-san," Saguru growled softly in warning.

Akako turned to Keiko, cutting Saguru's protest short. "Don't you think so, Momoi-san?"

"That would certainly teach them a lesson," Keiko huffed, genuinely aggravated with Kaito and Aoko. "The only question is which one should have to do it?"

Aoko's entire face went red, and she gave a little squeak of alarm.

Kaito sighed and raised his hand. "All right, all right. Fine. I'll do it. I'll take one for the team and accept the punishment." He stepped toward Saguru, but the detective retreated, batting away Akako's mistletoe.

"Stop this nonsense immediately," Saguru hissed through gritted teeth, jaw clenched. "What about my wishes in the matter? Do you think anyone would want kissing them to be considered a punishment? _I'm_ certainly not flattered. Must you all _literally_ add insult to injury?"

Kaito bit his lip and jumped in with, "Hakuba, I'm sorry. I didn't…" at the same time Akako burst out, "Hakuba-kun, I wasn't thinking. I…"

Keiko and Aoko both added their awkward apologies to the din until all four of them were speaking unintelligibly at once.

"That's quite enough," Saguru interjected, raising his arms in defense against the noise. He turned from them, returning to decorating duty. "Let's all pretend it never happened and get back to work now, shall we?"

That was all the encouragement the group needed to return to their tasks. There was awkward silence at first, but soon Aoko and Keiko struck up a quiet conversation, and the tense atmosphere dissipated.

Fifteen minutes later, Akako hesitantly came over and helped Saguru hang a strand of garland with festive red bows on the fireplace mantle.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, not meeting his gaze. "About earlier with the mistletoe. I know you said to drop it, but please let me apologize first. I was just—"

"—Trying to help," Saguru completed with a tired smile. "I know, Akako-san. I appreciate your good intentions, and I accept your apology. I know how hard it is for you to say that you're sorry."

"It's getting easier with practice," she sighed, securing the strand as he held it up. "…So have you given any more thought to confessing tonight?"

Saguru gave a snort. "Absolutely not."

Akako muttered under her breath, scowling at the festive red bows. Something about regrets.

"I did, however, bring the books with me," he admitted, throwing her a bone. "They're in my bag. I'll find some opportunity tonight to give them to him and tell him what you told me to say about it being a tradition to give friends gifts in England."

The pout instantly lifted from Akako's face, and she beamed impishly at him. "That's my boy."

"Yes, yes," Saguru muttered, releasing the garland and stepping back to inspect their work. "You win. Now help me put another strand on the windowsill over by the couch."

"Gladly," Akako practically cackled in glee.

Saguru smiled softly, pleased that things were okay between them once more. That just left Kuroba Kaito who was still sneaking guilty glances at Saguru every few minutes.

Saguru did not want to have an awkward talk with Kuroba Kaito about the Mistletoe Incident. Saguru was trying his best to put the Mistletoe Incident out of his mind. It had honestly hurt to be rejected like that. While he held no delusions that he and Kaito were ever going to happen, it still stung to be reminded of that fact in a very public, very humiliating way. He didn't want to discuss it—not least of all because he was afraid that the pain would show on his face, Kuroba would figure it out, and everything would be ruined.

Fortunately, setup work kept the group busy up until the point when guests started arriving. Saguru was able to fade into the crowd and avoid Kaito's concerned gaze.

…

Saguru really didn't like parties. He'd been going to them with one parent or the other since he was very small, and with the advent of his detective career, social engagements had only become more frequent. He had promised to stay to help clean up that evening, so he couldn't sneak away after making the rounds like he normally did at business social functions.

Still, an hour into the party, Saguru was feeling mentally drained and physically exhausted. There were too many people all smooshed into the Nakamoris' great-room. The music was too loud, too many people were talking at once, and the chaos was wearing away at Saguru's brain and eardrums like a cheese grater.

Even though he knew he wasn't supposed to, Saguru slipped away from the celebration and into Nakamori-keibu's study.

It was tiny compared to the one at the Hakuba Manor, but Saguru couldn't be bothered to care. There were two suitable chairs by the fireplace, a desk covered with manila folders over by the window, a sofa and coffee table in the center of the room, and a wall of books opposite the fireplace.

Saguru browsed the Nakamoris'—mostly Aoko's—respectable collection and selected a copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland to settle down with. He switched on the electric fireplace and took the sturdy armchair with a view of the door, opening the slim novel and diving into Wonderland.

He was just at the Mad Tea Party when the study door opened, ripping him out of the story and causing him to jump.

Kaito gave a start too when he realized that the room wasn't as empty as he had anticipated. "Hakuba!" he gasped, hand going to his chest. "Geez. Sorry. I didn't think anyone would be in here."

Saguru scrambled to his feet, a wash of guilt and embarrassment flooding in at being caught where he had no business being. "By all rights, no one should. I don't think we're supposed to venture off from the main room. I just…"

Kaito caught sight of the book in Saguru's hand and smiled softly. His eyes looked weary and a little red. "You just couldn't stand the press of the crowd anymore, but you couldn't ditch cleanup duty after the party, so you hid out in here with a good book to keep you company. Right?"

Saguru's cheeks flushed as he looked down at his shoes and nodded. "Right."

"Well, I'll leave you too it, then. Sorry again for the interruption," Kaito chuckled sheepishly, but the normal levity was missing from his voice. It was subtle, but Saguru had studied his friend long enough to know that Kaito was faking it.

Saguru's brow furrowed. "Wait," he called after the magician. "You don't have to go," he assured. "I'm perfectly willing to share my refuge…unless… _you_ wanted some privacy, Kuroba." He bit his lip and went on, risking being wrong, risking Kuroba lying and saying that everything was fine when it wasn't. "Kuroba, are you quite all right? You look upset."

Kaito blinked, studied Saguru for a moment, and then laughed wryly. "You can tell I'm upset? Is my poker face broken or something?"

Saguru shook his head. "No. It's just your eyes are a little…I doubt anyone else could tell." He backpedaled, correcting himself. "Well, maybe Aoko-san or Akako-san. I don't presume to be the only one able to tell when you're a little off, but…" He forced himself to stop blathering and offered, "I can leave, if you want some space. You can have the room. I've no right to it anyway." He made a start for the door, but Kaito stopped him.

"It's fine, Hakuba. Stay. I…could probably use some good company right about now." Kaito smiled ruefully, making his way over to the chair across from Saguru's and draping himself over the back of it.

Saguru set his book down on the coffee table and retook his seat, turning his attention to Kaito. "Did you want to talk about it? Or maybe talk about something entirely different?"

Kaito groaned as he remembered. "Oh. Hey. I almost forgot. I wanted to apologize for earlier."

"I don't want you to apologize," Saguru quickly interposed, not wanting to get into it.

Kaito blinked. "But I—"

"—You didn't mean it. You said it without thinking. I forgive you, so don't let's talk about it again, yes?"

Kaito picked up on the pleading tone to Hakuba's voice, the desperate look in his eye, and let it drop. "All right, but if it makes you feel any better, karma caught up to me for being a jerk earlier. Tonight has been the worst," he grumbled, letting his forehead thunk against the back of the seat.

"How…so?" Saguru was unsure if he should ask.

Kaito raised his head and looked balefully at Saguru. "Akako and Aoko both confessed to me just a bit ago."

Saguru blinked. "I'm…sorry? I fail to see how confessions from two beautiful women could ruin your evening. Are you having trouble choosing between them? If so, I'd give Akako-san some serious consideration, if I were you," he inserted a shameless plug for his friend. "Or is it that you're worried about hurting one of them when you turn them down?"

Kaito looked away, focusing on the electric fireplace and not bothering to try to hide the guilt on his face.

"Or…is it that you've already turned one of them down and you feel guilty because you never realized what a real treasure she is?" Saguru ventured another guess, his heart sinking for Akako.

Kaito didn't vocalize a reply, but the quick twist of pain in his expression said all that needed to be.

"Is that it?" Saguru gently pressed. "Am I to congratulate you and Aoko-san, then?" The bottom dropped out of his stomach on his own accord, but his voice never faltered as he said it. He'd practiced that line many times. "I hope you'll be very happy together. You suit one another."

Kaito shook his head. "No."

Saguru's eyebrows knitted together, nonplussed. "'No'? Sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Well," Kaito conceded, "You were right about what you said about Akako, but, no, there's no need to congratulate me and Aoko. We _don't_ suit one another, and that's why I…I had to tell her that I can't think of her as more than a friend, a sister."

Saguru's mouth dropped open as his eyebrows disappeared into his bangs. "Sorry, you _what_?"

"I turned them both down," Kaito murmured, getting out a pack of cards and beginning to shuffle compulsively.

"W-Why?" Saguru stammered, failing entirely to understand what possible reason Kuroba could have for denying himself and Aoko both happiness.

"Akako because I just think of her as a friend right now. Even if my feelings could change in the future, I'm not really up to having a relationship at present, and I don't know when that's going to change. It would be unfair to tell her 'not now, but maybe later' and keep stringing her along for, possibly, years." Kaito shrugged, still focusing on the fake flames in the electric fireplace.

"But what about Aoko-san?" Saguru pushed. "You _do_ love her now. It may not be convenient, but if you turn her down, she might move on, and you'll regret it."

Kaito waved Saguru's argument away. "I only love her as a sister. Besides, even if that wasn't the case, I'm no good for her. She's better off happy with someone else."

"But you deserve to be happy too," Saguru whispered.

Kaito pretended not to hear, not wanting to get into a dispute over it.

They sat in silence for a minute and a half until the train of the conversation was almost extinguished.

"Is this about KID?" Saguru finally dared to ask in a small voice.

The cards stopped mid-bridge.

Kaito looked at him with a careful blankness, but Saguru could see a hint of surprise in Kaito's eyes.

Saguru met Kaito's gaze and continued, a little louder. "If it weren't for KID, would you still be doing this? Is he the reason you think you can't let yourself be loved?"

Kaito bit his lip and considered Saguru for several long moments. The cards resumed their intricate patterns, and Kaito replied, "I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean."

Saguru's heart broke a little at that. "Of course you don't," he muttered, a twinge of bitterness to his voice. "I was just being silly, thinking you'd begun to trust me."

Kaito winced, and the evasive shuffling came to a stop once more. "Hakuba, I regularly take you with me on incredibly suspicious errands. Either I do trust you or I think you're a drooling idiot. What do you think?"

"I think you've treated me like a bloody idiot before," Saguru huffed. "That wouldn't be anything new. I know you're an honest-to-goodness genius, Kuroba, but just because I'm not as smart as you, that doesn't make me braindead," Saguru growled, his frustration finally overwhelming him. "I'm far from dumb, if you hadn't noticed. If you do really trust me, why do you always have to skirt the issue? Why all the denials? Why can't you ever just look me in the face and tell the truth?!"

Saguru's shout rang in the silence of the study, and the two boys stared at each other—Kaito surprised, guilty, Saguru also startled and slightly horrified at his outburst—without speaking until Saguru broke eye contact, looking down at his shoe, blushing as he stuttered, "I'm sorry. I do apologize. I have no idea where that came from."

"I do," Kaito chuckled regretfully. "That was nearly two years of frustration, neglect, and being taken for granted. I'm kind of impressed that it took you so long to snap. God knows I deserve it."

"It's not like that," Saguru started to argue.

"Isn't it?" Kaito snorted. "…Hey. I'm going home. Come with me."

Saguru blinked, thinking he'd either misheard or slipped into a daydream. "Sorry?"

"Come back to my house with me." Kaito repeated the invitation. "I don't think either of us wants to be at this party, so let's ditch until it's time to help clean up. It'll be easier to talk freely at my house, anyway."

"Talk freely?" Saguru repeated, not following.

"Yeah." Kaito shrugged. "I mean, you want me to tell you the truth, don't you? It'd be better if we went somewhere where we'd be less likely to be overheard or interrupted, right?"

"Right!" Saguru answered eagerly, practically shooting out of his chair and grabbing his bag. "Ready when you are."

…

Kaito set a mug of hot chocolate in front of Saguru on the coffee table before flopping onto the couch in the Kuroba living room. "Plausible deniability," he sighed without preamble.

"Sorry?" Saguru paused, mug halfway to his mouth.

"If I looked you in the face and told you, 'You were right all along; I'm KID', you'd lose the ability to say that you had no conclusive proof," Kaito elaborated.

" _Besides the blood and hair samples and that glove you left behind at the Nightmare heist,"_ Saguru mentally retorted.

"Right now, you're only ninety-nine point nine percent sure with some strong circumstantial evidence," Kaito continued. "If I straight up admitted to being KID, you could no longer absolutely deny it, if somebody asked."

Saguru raised a quizzical eyebrow and stated dryly, "You assume I am incapable of lying to the police. As if I wouldn't be able to resist the do-gooder urge to turn you over to them as soon as you confessed because I blindly follow a black and white interpretation of the law and am unable to think for myself," he snorted.

Kaito shook his head and smiled sadly, looking miserable. "Hakuba, I'm not worried about the police. Maybe at the very beginning, but I know you far too well now. I'm worried that I'm making you a target. I'm afraid that if I tell the truth and let you in, I'll wind up getting you killed."

The pit dropped out of Saguru's stomach. This was about far more than Kuroba's stupid pride and trust issues. Why had he never realized?

"And I'd never be able to get your death off my conscience," Kaito summarized, snapping back into his usual flippant demeanor as easily as some people changed shirts. "So that's why I intentionally keep you in the dark. That's about as truthful as I'm prepared to be right now. Sorry."

"This is about those gunmen at the heists." Saguru finally put the pieces together. "You're afraid they'd use me to hurt you, to get to you."

Kaito pursed his lips, pulling a chain of scarves out of his sleeve, unknotting them, and beginning to fold them into various birds and flying insects—butterflies, bees, dragonflies. "I don't want you involved."

"Kuroba, I can help. I have resources: my grandfather's lab, my family's fortune, access to police—"

"—I need your help with something else," Kaito quietly cut him off as one of the handkerchief doves took flight and transformed into a real bird.

"Of course," Saguru responded immediately, overjoyed that Kaito had confidence enough in him to ask for his help. "Anything."

"Aoko and Akako."

Saguru's brow crinkled. "…What about them?"

"Which one do you have a crush on?" Kaito looked up from his scarf creations, his dark indigo eyes piercing through Saguru. "I don't know about Akako, but if it's Aoko, I can definitely help you out."

Saguru blinked stupidly, words getting stuck in his throat.

"It's Aoko, isn't it?" Kaito rolled on ahead, mistaking Saguru's distress for mere embarrassment. "I don't mean to rush you, but you should confess. She could really use someone to support her and care for her right about now what with her father always being busy with work and…and me being an unreliable, promise-breaking jerk all the time." Kaito looked down, toing the fringe of the area rug, ashamed at all the ways he had failed her.

Saguru tried to interject with an explanation, but none was forthcoming.

Kaito looked back up at him, and his pleading gaze pinned Saguru like a butterfly. "I know I can count on you, Hakuba. You're kind of the only guy I would trust with her," he chuckled sheepishly. "You're considerate and attentive and honestly a good guy. I couldn't ask for more for her, so—"

"—It's not Aoko-san." Saguru finally found his voice.

Kaito blinked, a little thrown. "…But…I was so sure that…then…Akako?"

Saguru shook his head vehemently. "I'm sorry. I…"

" _Keiko_?" Kaito tried one last possibility.

"What makes you so sure that I have a crush in the first place?" Saguru breathed in exasperation.

"Akako said you did, and you blushed." Kaito shrugged. "She said it was someone I know well, so…is it someone in our class?"

Saguru looked away, half wishing that he hadn't come to Kuroba's house after all. The torture of having this conversation with said crush almost made the trust Kaito had shown in him by finally being honest almost not worth it. "I'd rather not talk about this."

"Come on," Kaito wheedled. "I've had a crappy day, and my love life is a mess. I had to turn down two of my best friends today. Throw me a bone."

Saguru almost said, "Do you want to make it three for three in the turning down friends department? Because that's where this is heading."

Instead, he took a deep breath and decided that Akako was probably right. He should trust Kaito more than that. "I don't want to talk about it because it's a bit of a sensitive subject." He bit his lip, gripping the mug of hot chocolate tight as he began to explain. "I don't want it getting out because I don't want to be any more of a social pariah than I already am. My father would literally kick me out of the house if he found out, so…"

Saguru took a deep breath and forced himself to look Kaito in the eye.

"…It's a guy that you like, isn't it?" Kaito hesitantly ventured.

Saguru's mouth dropped open slightly. "How did…? Can people tell?! I mean, am I that obvious?" Fear began to flood Saguru's system as he imagined other people finding out, ostracizing him, posting it online, telling his father.

"No," Kaito assured. "No. I mean, I could never tell, and I probably know you the best of anyone in the class besides Akako. It was just the way you were talking…I couldn't think of anyone I know well that would make you a pariah for liking them. It was a guess. It was either that or you were involved with one of our teachers, so…I went with the more likely gay option."

Saguru nodded, his heartrate coming back down slowly. "Then…you're not freaked out that I…like men?"

Kaito frowned. "Did you think I would be?"

Saguru could feel his ear tips starting to burn with shame. "I'm sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt, but…I was serious when I said my father would kick me out if he found out. It…It's a little scary giving someone the power to ruin you."

"As if I wouldn't be able to resist the malicious urge to tell everyone you know because I am just that much of a backstabbing slug," Kaito snickered, half-teasing, and Saguru winced at the similarity to his own earlier words of accusation.

"Do you really think I value our friendship so cheaply that I'd throw you over just for liking guys?" Kaito wondered softly, pushing his small mound of scarf creatures back up his sleeve where they had come from.

"I don't know. I'm sorry for doubting you, but I have so few friends while you have many, and I'm not quite sure where I rank on your list. I feel like I'm expendable, and I was scared because…" Saguru took a deep breath. "I care about what you think more than I'd like to admit."

Kaito inhaled slowly and then just as deliberately let it out, as if he were trying to keep his temper. When he trusted himself to speak, Kaito rose to his feet and tersely commanded, "Come with me. C'mon. Upstairs."

Nonplussed as was becoming the norm for the day, Saguru reluctantly followed up the staircase and down the hall to the last door on the right. His breath hitched when he realized he was standing in Kaito's bedroom. He felt dizzy as he surreptitiously memorized the layout, the books on the shelf, the posters on the walls.

Kaito didn't seem to notice Saguru's star-struck reaction. He went straight to his desk and pulled a drawer open roughly with a bang. He reached in, grabbed what he was looking for, and shoved a plastic capsule from one of those gatcha-gatcha gumball machines into Saguru's face.

It took a moment for Saguru's brain to catch up, and he was reaching for the capsule before he realized what was inside: an adipose phone strap from Doctor Who just like the one he'd been admiring at the arcade the day he'd gone with Kuroba.

"Do you know how much money I wasted trying to get the adipose one you wanted for you?" Kaito scoffed, yanking open another drawer just as roughly and taking out capsule after capsule, setting each one down with a thump. "Two of those cyber dudes, a sonic screwdriver, two Tardis, three of those…what are they called?"

"Daleks," Saguru chuckled, trying not to break down in hysteric laughter as tears began building in the corners of his eyes.

"Three Daleks," Kaito announced and then pointed to the shelf above his desk where two additional capsules were positioned so that the figurines inside faced each other. "And two terrifying weeping angels. Seriously, they've been freaking me out for a whole week now. I was going to throw them away, but then I would have to take my eyes off them, and I wasn't willing to risk it, so setting them guard over one another was the best I could do."

Saguru put a hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh.

"You see what I go through for you?" Kaito griped. "And you think you're expendable? God, Hakuba, I may have a lot of friendly acquaintances, but my list of real friends isn't much longer than yours, and, out of them, you're the only one that gets to see me without the masks on all the time. Yes, Aoko's my best friend because we've been through things, been together longest, but you're the friend who knows me best _now_."

Kaito sighed, suddenly losing steam. "So don't ever think you're not important, Hakuba." A bashful smile bloomed on Kaito's lips, and he chuckled sheepishly, "You're important enough to me that I spent over two thousand yen trying to get you a dorky Christmas present."

The laughter finally broke through Saguru's floodgates, and the tears began to stream down his cheeks. "Thank you, Kuroba. I…I can't tell you how much… _all_ of this…means to me."

"Don't get all mushy on me, Detective." Kaito looked away, trying but doing nothing to hide his rampant blush. He smiled and rubbed at the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Oh! I got you something too," Saguru suddenly remembered. "It's downstairs in my bag."

Kaito cocked his head to the side. "A present for me?"

Saguru nodded, carefully picking up the capsules to carry downstairs. "Just a small gift to commemorate our friendship. It's normal in England, and I didn't go overboard or anything, so…"

Kaito started to pick up the remaining capsules once Saguru's hands were full, and Saguru pursed his lips.

"You didn't want any of these, did you?"

"Since you have two." Kaito snatched one of the Tardis straps from the top of Saguru's pile and smirked. "Besides, I think it's more fitting that I should have this."

"How do you figure?" Saguru quirked an eyebrow.

Kaito pointed to himself. "Mad man." And then to the Tardis. "Blue box. Get it?"

Saguru rolled his eyes, shaking his head as they made their way back downstairs.

"Have you ever seen those t-shirts that have little boxes you're supposed to check and the options read: 'Taken, Single, and Waiting for a man with a blue box'?" Kaito asked.

Saguru tried not to smile and failed. "At many a convention, yes. Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking I'd put this Tardis strap on my phone, and next time I see a cute girl wearing that shirt, I'd show her the strap and see if that got me anywhere," Kaito hummed mischievously.

Saguru groaned. "That line wouldn't work on anyone."

"It would totally work on you," Kaito snickered as they reached the living-room and set the capsules down on the coffee table, the two weeping angels in the center facing one another with the rest of the figurines surrounding them in a circle, standing guard.

Saguru snorted dismissively. "Would not."

Kaito grabbed Saguru's hand, smiling wickedly as he leaned in, whispering, "I can show you all of time and space—anywhere and anywhen your heart desires. Come with me?"

It felt like Saguru was melting. His legs had gone boneless, and his traitorous complexion was glowing a fiery, pomegranate hue.

Saguru took a deep breath and hoped Kaito couldn't feel the wild flutter of Saguru's pulse in his wrist where Kaito's fingertips were lightly resting. "I don't think we'll fit in that little blue box of yours," Saguru replied, attempting to sound cool and collected and everything he didn't feel right then.

"It's bigger on the inside," Kaito purred softly, dealing the killing blow in the form of a wink.

Saguru came completely undone, and he knew Kaito could see it: dilated pupils the size of five-yen coins, the irregular breathing, the scarlet cheeks…he could only pray that Kaito didn't look down and observe the tightness of Saguru's pants.

Maybe it was only wishful thinking and the dim lighting of the living room, illuminated by only the Christmas tree, but Saguru could have sworn that Kaito's pupils were blown out as well.

Still, it took every ounce of self-control Saguru possessed to turn, break away, and reply in a steady voice, "No. Not working. I'm afraid I'll have to decline your invitation, Kuroba."

"Oh, come on," Kaito grumbled sulkily. "I was totally hott."

"Didn't do it for me," Saguru lied through his teeth, concentrating on trying to look like he was searching for Kaito's present in his bag.

"What if I dress up like David Tennant?" Kaito suggested. "I could even do the voice. I could say it in English. Would it be sexier in English?"

"Your English is rubbish," Saguru chuckled. "Now drop it, or I'll leave those two weeping angels that you're so fond of here with you."

Kaito shuddered. "Fine. Consider it dropped. Now, you get those creepy things out of my house, you hear?"

"Agreed."

There was a beat of silence and then, "Man. That guy that swept you off your feet must really be something, huh?"

Saguru froze at the wistful quality of Kaito's voice.

"…Magical, really," Saguru conceded. It was easier with his back to his crush. "And he wasn't even trying."

"He's lucky." Wistful again? Or just Saguru's wishful thinking? He was still dizzy on hormones from Kaito's antics.

"He likes women," Saguru informed, more for the purpose of reminding himself than anything. The words came out a little bitterly.

"Your present." Saguru pulled it out and presented it before Kaito could try to console him. "I know it's not the custom in Japan, but go ahead and open it now."

Kaito took it and hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should let the subject drop or try to say something encouraging. Deciding that whatever he said would probably only come out trite and insincere, he let it go and tore open the wrapping paper. "Discworld?" he puzzled at the title of the book series.

"Yes. By Sir Terry Pratchett," Saguru explained, stomach all floaty with nerves. "The Discworld series comprises almost forty different novels set in the same universe but focusing on many different protagonists. Those are the first two, The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic which follow each other directly. I got you copies in both English and Japanese, so you could practice, if you wanted. I think you'll enjoy them. I mean, I enjoy them, but I think you'll appreciate Pratchett's sense of humor. The hero is a wizard who can't do spells and really just wants to stay at home and mind his own business, but he keeps getting dragged off on adventures with a rich tourist and a sentient piece of luggage."

Kaito laughed, flipping through the Japanese copy of The Colour of Magic. "Sounds like my kind of nonsense. Thanks, Hakuba. That was really cool of you to think of me."

Saguru shrugged, hoping he looked nonchalant despite his blush. "You should thank Akako-san. She's the one who convinced me it wouldn't be weird to give another guy a Christmas present."

"I'll do that whenever she starts speaking to me again," Kaito sighed softly, stretching out on the couch and waving Saguru over to join him.

"She won't stop talking to you," Saguru reassured. "Just keep treating her the way you always…" Saguru pursed his lips, reconsidering. "Well, maybe treat her a little more kindly now that you have a better understanding of why she is the way she is…but if you don't let things be awkward, they won't be."

"Easier said than done," Kaito muttered. "Man, cleaning up with both Aoko and Akako tonight—and Keiko's probably going to be mad at me too. Shoot. This is going to suck."

"I'll be there. You can just hang out with me," Saguru offered.

"Thank God for that. I won't be under attack from all sides, at least." Kaito sank further into the couch and reached out for his hot chocolate mug, now cold. He stopped halfway and turned to look at Saguru. "Hey."

"…Hey?" Saguru responded a minute later after Kaito didn't continue.

Kaito nibbled on his lip, trying to work up the guts to ask. "The guy you like?"

Saguru shifted uneasily. "Yes?"

"It isn't…" Kaito laughed anxiously, took a breath, and tried again. "The guy you like…is it…?" Catching the twinkle of the Christmas tree lights reflected in Saguru's eyes, Kaito lost his nerve and finished with, "…someone I know?"

"Does it matter? It's never going to happen." Saguru forced himself to breathe regularly, speak steadily, no matter how much it hurt when he was so close he could have just leaned in and kissed the magician.

Kaito pressed his lips together in a tight, thin line. "Well, for what it's worth, the guy you like is an idiot. He doesn't even know what he's missing out on. I mean, anyone would be lucky to be with someone as smart and handsome and kind as you, so just screw that guy. Forget about him."

Both boys blushed furiously and avoided the other's gaze.

"Th-Thank you," Saguru managed to get out half a minute later. "That…really means a lot to me. It's…very sweet of you."

"I don't sound like a total dork?" Kaito chuckled. "I think I sounded pretty lame, but…I just want you to know that you're awesome, so…screw that guy, okay?"

"It was a great deal sappier than I'm used to from you, Kuroba, but you never sound lame, and it was much appreciated. I really kind of needed the support, so thank you." Saguru nervously toed the area rug, trying not to catch Kaito's eye.

"Oh. Good. Then…while I'm being sappy, I might as well do one more thing," Kaito chuckled, sounding a bit frazzled and giddy, embarrassed at his un-Kaito-like behavior.

Kaito leaned in and placed a quick peck on Saguru's cheek, leaving the detective feeling like he was about to overheat.

"For the mistletoe earlier," Kaito explained, quickly looking away, his cheeks as red as grenadine syrup. "I didn't mean to be such a jerk. I'm really sorry."

It took Saguru about two full minutes to get himself under control again, but when he did, he whispered a soft thank you. "But you didn't have to do that."

Kaito shrugged it off, still avoiding Saguru's gaze, not wanting the detective to see how red he had become. "Whatever. Friends? You're not mad at me or anything?"

Saguru shook his head. "I don't blame you for anything…and I'm guessing neither do Aoko-san and Akako-san. Most likely Keiko-san is the only one angry with you."

"Let's hope," Kaito muttered, picking up the English copy of The Colour of Magic. "You should read this to me, so I can improve my 'rubbish' English accent. Unless you want to do something else, I mean."

Saguru smiled, taking the book and tilting it so that they could both see. "I'd be glad to, if that's really how you want to spend the evening."

Kaito scooted in closer so that he was pressed to Saguru's side from shoulder to knee. "If I didn't really want to, I wouldn't have suggested it." He nudged Saguru in the knee with his own. "Read."

Saguru smiled, enjoying Kaito's warmth and comforting scent. He slowly began to read, secure in the fact that Kaito genuinely cared.

Even if it wasn't exactly what Saguru wanted, Saguru was still important to Kaito, and that was enough for now.

The

End

…...

Mikau: Thanks so much for reading guys. I hope you've all had a fun and safe holiday season. Have a great New Year!


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